Monthly Archives: August 2014

08/21/14

Insecurity

“Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.” — Demi Lovato 

Well said, Demi.

Recently, while surfing my favorite sites, stumbled upon this post from Edie on Life{in}Grace blog.

I met Edie at the Allume women’s blogging conference last October in Greenville, SC. She was every bit as friendly and welcoming as you imagine her to be.

This post struck a chord with me. It spoke to me, and my inner 7th grader. Hearing the stories and testimonies of coworker’s children’s first few days of school, all those memories came flooding back.

The anticipating of the first day.

Changing over & over until you feel confident in your outfit. And then changing again.

Practicing that “walking-into-class-swagger”… I mean, these people haven’t seen you all summer! Gotta take the room with confidence!

I was insecure as an adolescent, and in some ways, I still am. It creeps up on me when I least expect it.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I am a strong, independent, outgoing woman, and most would never guess that I am insecure and shy at times, but I am!

Read Edie’s words as she battles her own insecurities recently when she spoke at a women’s conference. The enemy really, really likes to remind you of your shortcomings & imperfections when you are about His work. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book.

“A Peptalk for your Inner 7th Grader” 

Edie Wadsworth

I spoke at a women’s conference last weekend, which besides being a wonderful place of inspiration and creativity, can be the scariest place on earth.

“A conference where 550 women descended with their cute shoes and their cool jewelry and their beautiful hair.  I have never struggled with insecurity much.  I’m not plagued with self-consciousness and I’m pretty sure I’ve been too insatiably curious about other people to worry too much about what other people thought of me. I realize now what a gift that is.   I came to the conference with good friends and other than having to speak, I was just happy to be there, to see old friends and to meet new ones.

Until I walked into the cafeteria alone.

My group was already in there eating somewhere and I knew from a text in what general direction they were sitting in the room.  But I walked into a large dining hall carrying my tray and unable to find my people and I had a moment of anxiety.  I remembered watching my son do this in 4th grade in his first day of public school as I watched from outside the cafeteria doors.  I saw him with that same look of anxiety and panic.  Who do I sit with? Where are my people?  Do I have people?  I was 8 months pregnant with my 3rd child at the time and so hormonal that I started sobbing for my son.  I went to find a teacher and ask her if she could help him find a seat.  Now, here I was, the girl who is almost never insecure in social situations, feeling that old anxiety that we all know so well.  Like being in 7th grade all over again and worried sick about how and where and under what conditions I might fit in to this impossible group of people before me.

When I found my people, I met Kari for the first time.  And you know what she did?  After she made us laugh hysterically about her size 12 jeans, she sat right down and told us about her struggle with weight loss. I wanted to cry.  She made herself so vulnerable to us.  It was a beautiful thing.  But that’s so rare, isn’t it?

The truth is, this anxiety we have about being with each other doesn’t end in 7th grade.   We all wish it did but 7th grade girls became middle aged women and sometimes it seems like not much else changes, in us or them.  We’re competitive and fragile and often downright mean.  But behind the unkindness is often just a paralyzing insecurity.

It was a good life lesson.

So, before all my talks I gave my pep talk about how to get the most out of conferences, which seems to apply to almost every social situation I can think of.

I started the pep talk by showing this picture.

4256723129_87098fdc56_m

I’m pretty sure I even thought I was cute back in 1984.  The mullet, the acne, and the knee high tube socks tell a different story but I say never let a good mullet go to waste.

That middle schooler is still lurking around in all of us.  (Yours was probably cuter, but whatever.)

The one who so desperately struggles to be herself.  The one plagued with insecurity and self-consciousness. The one who abhors lunch time because the prospect of finding someone to sit with is so overwhelming.  The one who is always feeling like she doesn’t measure up—she’s not thin enough or cute enough or smart enough or popular enough.

So I encouraged the people in my session to turn this all around.  Because at the end of the day, our  self-consciousness and our insecurity often just lead to self-centeredness.  We’re so worried about ourselves that we forget why we’re here–to bless and serve others.  I encouraged them to go into these (often scary) situations with an others focus.  When you train yourself to focus on other people, you don’t have time to worry about all your insecurities.  They evaporate.  They become shadows instead of giant obstacles between you and your neighbor.

Think of situations you face everyday where this applies and remind yourself that this is not about you.  This is about them—learning to see them,worrying about them, wondering if they’re okay,  meeting their needs however we can, finding them a place to sit among the crowd.   I train (more like harp on) my daughters to do this too.  They’re both in middle school so I know full well how hard this can be.

So, there’s your pep talk.

Turn your insecurity into blessing by training your inner 7th grader to stop worrying so much about herself and instead turn the table and the spotlight and the energy towards her neighbor.

You’ll both be glad you did.”

Thank you for sharing Edie.

We need to adopt this ‘others focus’, don’t we?

 

*Read more at http://www.lifeingraceblog.com/2014/08/pep-talk-inner-7th-grader/#hkgpUG5od8OUXK4Q.99

 

xoxo

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08/19/14

Random Thoughts

Somedays I feel like sharing random items-

Inspiring quotes…

Recipes I’d like to try…

Recipes I have tried…

Books I am currently reading…

Things that make me smile…

Things that challenge me…

So, this post is just that.

Totally random.

Completely random, unorganized, and unplanned. It’s a countdown of all the things I wanted to share with you this week.

So, here we go! ………………

I saw this quote a few weeks ago on Pinterest, and it has stuck with me.

keep truckin'

As a wannabe perfectionist, I get so terribly caught up in doing things the right way, fearing my own failure or even worse disappointing someone else. It is self- doubt that kills our dreams, sometimes before we can even take that first step or leap! Failure is simply a milestone, a fleeting, passing happening or emotion on the way to ultimate success. There will never be someone who achieves their dreams without a little failure along the way.

 

Can we just talk about, for just one moment, that these are peanut butter rice krispie treats layered with delicious, chocolatey, fudge brownies?

Peanut Buttery Snap Crackle ‘n Pop Brownies!

Holy sweetness!

I mean… Bless your heart! 

This amazing concoction, which I assure you will play on repeat this football season, is from Kevin & Amanda. Follow the link to happiness, otherwise knows as Snap Crackle n Pop Peanut buttery Brownies.

My stomach just started to growl…

 

I keep wishing for fall. I get this way every year right around this time. It’s almost September, the return of college football is so close I can practically taste it, kids are back in school, and I begin to long for cool, crisp air, apple season, and the return of boots & scarves on regular rotation.

So, with the return of impending fall, this calls for an addition(s) to the fall wardrobe.

Currently, I am crushing on this Eclipse Striped Cardigan from Anthropologie. Just lovely!

Eclipsed Stripe Cardigan

I love the length, the flowiness, the sheer sleeves, and the black and white stripes!

Also on the crush list is this simple, cozy cardigan from ModCloth with cool zipper detail.

Cozy gray cardigan with zipper detail. Come on fall!!!  http://rstyle.me/n/nnrrsn2bn

Makes me just want to curl up on the sofa and read a good book or watch a good movie.

Fall come quickly!

And speaking of fall, my roommate excitedly told me that Starbucks was bringing back the limited-time flavor & wildly popular Pumpkin Spiced Lattes a bit early this year. She was so excited!

And I found this recipe for Crock pot Pumpkin Spiced Lattes on Pinterest and thought, “What a great fall treat to make for an open house or after a Friday night football game or to sip on during book club or Bible study.”

Better than Starbucks and healthier too!

This will definitely be a cool weather warmer that I am sure I will turn to again and again this fall & winter.

For the full recipe & directions, follow this link.

 

Currently, I am reading If I Stay by Gayle Forman mainly because the trailer for the movie plays like every 3rd commercial break and I just have to know what it’s all about. I mean, I just have to!

So intriguing.

And I just finished…

A great piece of Christian fiction that held my interest from the first page to the last! And, shameless plug, the author is Sloan’s cousin!

Read it!

 

My roommate Katie and I signed up to participate in the Disney Princess Run Disney! Half Marathon weekend in Disney World this upcoming February.

Now, don’t get too excited, I am not running a half-marathon. But, we did sign up for the 5K. To some that sounds weak, for me, it is a challenge.

I have never been a runner, nor did I ever aspire to be one. Running was a means to an end during training for gymnastics, but after injury and subsequent back surgery, I never picked up the habit of running again.

Now, I do.

Free 10K training plans for beginners! | via @SparkPeople #running #fitness #workout #training

I found this training schedule on Pinterest for “how to run a 10K in 12 weeks” and thought it would, at least, be a good starting point.

Have any running tips for a running novice?

Okay? Thanks!!!

 

I really want to paint my nails this color…

Essie Resort 2014 Collection Under The Twilight.  Must. Try. This. Color.

Like really, really.

Something about that luscious purple-gray-blue hue makes me just so darn happy!

 

And on the homefront, I just purchased my first big home decor furniture item… a kitchen table!

Sidney Dining Tables

I had my eye on a particular table from Ballard Designs, the Syndey 48 inch weathered gray table. It is classically elegant and a perfect size for my dining needs, at least for now.

I am really pleased with my purchase and it’s available for pick up this week! Can’t wait to move it in and start serving on it!

 

So, that’s it. Some random thoughts, ideas, recipes, and fun for your day!

xoxo

 

 

 

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