Monthly Archives: March 2016

03/10/16

A Heart Chip. {Journey to discovering my Single Self}

I have debated and debated typing out this post and pressing the dreaded “Publish” button, but after much thought and prayer and conversations with those I trust, I felt the need to write this post.

To complete it.

To share it.

And most importantly perhaps, to move past it and beyond it.

I wrote this out several weeks ago in my personal prayer journal; the place where my hopes and fears collide onto white lined paper.

I wrote it after, yet another, heart chip. I refuse to call them heart breaks as I don’t believe I have ever really, truly been in love. Not yet at least. But, this fragile, but resilient heart has experienced many, many chips along the way.

Yours too? 

Perhaps it started in high school, when I fell into a mad & overwhelming crush with a young man that played in our church praise band. We went out a few times in groups and one-on-one and “hung out” as we tended to call it then and I was absolutely hopelessly, ‘forget-about-it’ smitten. That is until another young, bright-eyed, beautiful girl came to visit our youth group one Wednesday night and the game was over. She was everything I wasn’t. Bold. Unapologetic. Flirtatious. And, I could hardly blame her for her beauty and bubbly personality, but the two became an instant item and I was left out in the cold, without so much as an explanation. Forgotten.

At the time, it felt so public to me. I felt like my heart was exposed to the whole of the youth group and so, I retreated.

Even deeper into myself.

And I began to build the wall.

Brick by brick it became stronger throughout the remainder of high school and throughout college and has continued through young adulthood as well. Fortified. Sturdy. And I’ve been comfortable behind it.

Safe. 

And when a young man comes around and I feel those old, familiar feelings, and I allow myself to get excited, to feel the butterflies, and I want to fall, something stops me.

I lean into the wall.

And so I make determined & concerted efforts to be vulnerable. To share. To be real. To be… me. And brick by brick, the wall starts to crumble a bit, at least enough for me to hop over the edge and join him on the other side of it.

And then I dream. I imagine.

That night in my plush hotel room, after this latest heart chip, I wrote these words…

Tonight, a well broke loose. And I needed it.

I needed Him, I needed You, Father! And I’m always grateful and amazed that you know what is in this heart before the words ever spill out of my lips or find its way to paper.

I feel as if you have given me this desire. This desire to share my life with someone, to grow old with them, to raise a family, and to serve You faithfully together. I feel that it is God-ordained and God-given.

And yet without it, without that someone, I feel like a piece of me is forever missing. Like I am incomplete.

Wanting.

Unworthy.

Unlovable.

Lonely.

I am often consumed with this fear. The idea of being alone. At times, it’s almost suffocating.

Why does this have to be so hard for some and so easy for others?

The timing always off?

The right one everyone assures you exists never around the corner?

Is it supposed to be this way?

I want nothing less than His absolute best for me and I refuse to settle for anything less. You have been nothing but faithful always providing your absolute best for me- choice of college, major, job at an amazing company, incredible friends and family, and your absolute best comes in the form of Paul & Debbie each and every day. Why would I begin to doubt that your best for me is still yet to come?

Father, I will be honest, I no longer am certain if what you have for me is marriage, if that is included in your best plans, but I remain hopeful and prayerful.

But, until then, whenever “then” may be, I am asking that the piece of me that I feel is missing, that incomplete that is listed on the ledger of my heart, be removed.

Plugged up.

Regrouted.

Water-proofed and airtight.

If it’s not from You or of You, I am asking for it to be removed and filled with more of You. Because, in Your eyes, I know that I am worthy.

Loved.

Cherished.

Saved.

Covered.

Sanctified.

His. Yours.

And if “His” if all I ever am, I ask for joy and contentment to overwhelm my heart and soul, leaving no remnants of that fear or ache of loneliness.

May being His, always, always be enough…

Dear One, if you are reading my scattered thoughts and heart cries above and you feel like the reason I typed this out was for you to read it, you would be right. That is why I have typed it out and pressed “Publish.” Not for selfish gain or to see how many likes or shares I can get out of this one, but it is to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings. I think somehow, someway that helps. To know that your familiar feelings, aches, pains, longings are familiar to someone else as well.

But, I don’t want them to be familiar any more.

I want them to feel foreign. Because that “missing” piece of me, is replaced. Plugged up. Whole.

I hope and pray you find wholeness and completeness in Him and Him alone.

No him can do that. Not even the best of ones…

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03/03/16

Spring 2016 Trends & How to wear them

Hard to believe as I tugged on a pair of black opaque tights and boots earlier this week that soon I will be wearing skirts with bare legs and pumps and then later… sandals!

Spring and summer will be upon us before we even know it.

In fact, I have already seen the first Bradford Pear tree blooms of the season, and so I know it is coming!

So, to get us into the spirit, and add a little Spring to our step, let us be inspired by the year; 2016 in color!

pantone spring 2016 color report // graphic by @luvfromafar.:

Of the top colors, Pantone usually selects one shade and dons it the “Color of the Year.” And this year, they chose not 1, but 2 gorgeous hues to inspire our closets all season long… the light and ladylike Rose Quartz and the stormy, but brooding Serenity;  a perfect blend of both blue and gray. And it just so happens, I love the two together.

Pantone colors of the year 2016:

Color of the Year Rose Quartz and Serenity Pantone 2016. See also: http://www.brabbu.com/en/inspiration-and-ideas/:

Interior design Rose Quartz & Serenity | Colors of the year 2016:

Mmmmm. Inspiring.

And as for the Trends that will dominate runways and store windows this season?

I am happy to count down a few of my favorites…

Belled Sleeves 

Nothing wrong with a little drama! And I have always been a fan of belled-sleeves. I’ve always appreciated vintage throwbacks, and 2016 in many ways is a throwback to the 70s… a great era!

8 Fashion Trends That Will Dominate 2016 via @PureWow

A White Bell-Sleeve Top, Skinny Jeans, Lace-Up Flats, and a Fedora:

These sleeves are an immediate attention-getter! And not in a negative way.

Belled Sleeve Crepe Dress from JCrew, for $128

Bell-sleeve crepe dress

A sleek silhouette you can wear time & again!

And something a little more playful…

Belled Silk Peasant Dress from Anthro, $188

Mixed Metallics 

Rock this trend by combining hints of metallics in your shoes, bag, clothes, and even nail polish. Just a touch makes a big difference in the overall effect of your look.

Love this funky, printed clutch (so much so that I own it!) with metallic accents plus a mix of royal navy blue and black too! It’s a bag that breaks all the rules and goes with so much in my closet! And it has just the right pop of metallic to complement whatever you pair it with.

The Daria Wristlet from Hobo Handbags, for $108

The Zara in geo print from Hobo Bags! My alltime favorite little wristlet/clutch/evening bag... and I love this print!!!:

And I love their newest Metallic beauty too… “Metallic Starburst”… aptly named. Well done, Hobo.

Daria

Seychelles Metallic “Lucky Penny” Booties, $140

Metallic booties. Oh my heart!:

Just because it’s Spring, doesn’t mean to put up all your boots! You can still pair ankle booties with skirts, maxi skirts, and cropped pants well into spring. And I love these rose gold or pewter side-zip booties. Slide in, zip, and go!

Fancy an authentic copper-metallic shiny manicure? Try Penny Talk, by Essie Nail Color for $8.50 at local drugstores, or wherever Essie Nails is sold.

mirror metallics - effects by essie

Suede

Even stylish Jamie Chung is rocking the suede!

Wear these beautifully textured pieces celebrating their boho-chic vibe or pair with streamlined, classic pieces for a more simple and elegant look.

I love this classic, cropped Suede Jacket from Capulet, but it retails north of $350!! So, it is serving as inspiration as I look for a suede piece in the future.

Not ready to take the full-on suede plunge, but want just a pop of it?

Saloon-er Later Sea Green Suede Clutch, from Lulu’s for $33

Saloon-er or Later Suede Sea Green Clutch at Lulus.com!

Steve Madden “Darcie” Taupe Suede & Leather Heeled Sandals, $79

Steve Madden Darcie Taupe Suede Leather Heeled Sandals at Lulus.com!

Sometimes just  touch is just enough! And tassles and fringe are remaining a top trend for 2016 as well.

Off the Shoulder 

Shoulder baring blouses will continue to be a big trend next Spring. We love @tibi's off the shoudler cotton poplin top @discovercotton #sponsored #shopcotton:

You'll look like you stepped off the streets of Rome with this simple but stunning street style:

No cold shoulder here!

This trend is classic with just a dip into the trendy pool. It’s elegant, effortless, and just the right amount of sexy without being revealing.

Free People “Show me some Shoulder” Off-the-Shoulder White Cotton Blouse, for $78

A classic white shirt, updated with modern style and I love the tunic length for breezy spring and summer afternoons.

This is a great trend to wear with jeans, pencil skirts, and even flowy maxi skirts, but be sure to balance your top and bottom- meaning, if the top is blousy and billowy, balance it out with a more fitted bottom and vice versa.

Dainty Pleats 

Nothing more springlike than dainty and lightweight pleated skirts, dresses, and blouses.It is the epitome of ladylike “flair”.

Pun intended.

Wildfell Dress by Maeve, $158

Carmina Pleated Skirt by HD Paris, $118

And that color is delish for spring and summer too!

Pair pleated pieces with more fitted and subdued pieces– let the pleats speak for themselves! They are billowy and are just beautiful as you move.

Slip on Slides or Mules 

Whether flat or heeled, the trend in footwear this spring is to slide on in! No straps to tend to, no buckles to fasten, just step in and go!

Seychelles, Got the Answer Slides for $120 {also comes in metallics, so you can combine 2 trends in 1!}

Seychelles, Detour Mules for $110

Seychelles Detour Mules

Javier Sandal Slides by Dolce Vita, $90

JAVIER SANDALS

And you know I love the subtle animal print pattern. Animal prints are prints that play like a neutral in your closet and you will find, goes with just about everything!

So, I hope you feel inspired and excited for impending Spring in all its glory!

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