Closed fisted or Palms Open

In a recent conversation with one of my dearest friends and close confidants, we discussed there are two different ways to live: with your fists tightly closed or with your hands and palms open. She then began sharing with me her long & intensely personal journey to choosing to live with her hands and palms wide open in total surrender.

My heart was challenged, but my spirit felt weak.

That conversation was so inspiring, so moving, and so meaningful for me. The Lord used her and her example to reach me where I was in my own personal faith walk, in my own personal struggles, in my own doubt. He has done that through her time & time again and I am grateful that she is committed to being used of Him.

The whole drive home that night, I couldn’t help but wonder…

In what areas of my life am I still choosing to live closed fisted when I should be living with palms open ready to receive? ready to give? ready to share? ready to be poured out and used?

What are those areas of my life that I have held so closely, that I have clenched so tightly, simply because I am afraid they will not be granted?

Have I failed to receive His blessings in all areas of my life because I have chosen to hold it too close fearing He would not grant it?

Is He not a good Father who has my best interest at heart?

Would He withhold any good thing from me?

Has He not already provided for every need?

I have spent the last several weeks asking these deep & probing questions, journaling, soul-searching, and intently praying.

And then a well broke loose inside of me. A flood of His infinite grace and mercy.

As a result, I keep lowering the rope and pulling the bucket back up to the top of the well.

And it’s full to the brim each and every time.

Waiting for me to drink.

And so, I pour myself a cup.

And another.

Join me, if you would, at the well and take part in a journey that is beautiful, painful, liberating, and absolutely necessary in our faith walks with Christ.

My life is yours Lord; every moment, minute, month, and day. I dedicate it to you, and every year after that. May I live in light of your ultimate sacrifice, never withholding to share with others the good news of truth and forgiveness. May your praises ever be on my lips & may I live in a manner that suggests my hands and my heart are always open to your work around me. I surrender these thoughts, dreams, hopes, and fears that I have held too closely to you Lord, for you are the Author and the Perfector of the Faith and you hold all things together. Hold me together, I pray. Amen. 


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