07/26/16

Take it all, Take it all…

Every morning, it’s the same routine.

Up around 6:00 or 6:15, make up, hair, dress, grab breakfast, and at my desk with hot coffee in hand by 7:45 am sharp.

It’s an almost-mindless routine at time, something I do without even thinking. But, on my drive in, I have started a new tradition. It’s a time to center myself, to pray, to enjoy and savor the quiet, to de-stress, to de-worry, and to just simply Be. I listed to podcasts on occasion, but almost always, I listen to some praise and worship songs. Current obsession? Passion.

There is one particular song that has been become a morning prayer, a song I refer to as my “heart song.” You probably all know it, but the lyrics say, “My heart is yours, my heart is yours… take it all, take it all, my life in your hands!” Not sure if I should be admitting it, but I lift my right hand (while keeping my left hand firmly placed on the steering wheel) as I sing as an open-handed and open-heart offering.

But, besides the chorus, which I L-O-V-E love, the first verse begins with, “I give You my life, I give You my trust, Jesus. You are my God. You are enough, Jesus.” And I found myself awestruck one morning as I sang those lyrics, almost absentmindedly. So routinely. And I thought to myself, do I live in light of that truth? Do I give Jesus ALL my trust? ALL my life? Is He enough when the rest of the world fails me? IF this, my current circumstances, is all there is, Is He enough for me? Is He my sustaining force?

I almost had to pull the car over in this moment because I was so overwhelmed. So convicted. I wanted to drop to my knees and ask forgiveness, because I do not live in light of these truths and beliefs. I struggle with relinquishing control. {As if I have any real control… I know, I know.}  I struggle with belief. I struggle with complete and total trust. I want to live an impassioned, inspirational, encouraging, faith-filled, “that girl has Jesus coming out of her every pore”, kind of life, but my fear of failure, my fear of always being alone, and my fear of the unknowns in my future, paralyze me.

And so, I pray through it.

I praise through it.

I lift my hands and worship through it.

For He is my God, and He is enough. He gave all for me, and all to Him I owe. You can never out give Jesus.

I can never trust Him enough. I can never call on Him enough. I can never praise Him enough.

And so, this morning, I plugged my phone into the USB jack, I turned the volume up, and hit Play.

My heart is yours…

My heart is yours…

Take it all, Take it all…

My life, my future, my hope, my everything, is in Your capable Hands.

And I trust You…

I will choose to trust you.

Weekly. Daily. Hourly.

xoxo

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